Sunday, May 29, 2005

The 5th Annual Eurovision Drinking Party

Every May, John and I invite our friends around to our house to help us celebrate the carnival of freakery that is the Eurovision Song Contest. This year, we had to use Revolutionary Time Shifting TechnologyTM to watch the event as Suzanne's birthday celebrations fell on Eurovision Saturday.

Our Eurovision Party is famous in five continents, and as usual we had delicious* European food and drink, although John put his foot down about the amount of spirits being drunk after last year's drunken alcofest. There were some excellent songs, with Moldova, Norway and Switzerland being personal favourites, and also some right rubbish (Latvia, I'm looking in your direction...)

As we followed standard drinking rules everyone was merrily drunk by the time the program finished, which led to much Singstar, some attempted breakdancing, being attacked by a glove puppet, John grinning lots and getting to bed at about 5am. It also led to me feeling a little under the weather today. Good thing I didn't pick Greece.

*Except the Norweigen cheese, the Halloumi, the rare Croaski Vodka and the Brandy which nearly made me sick.

BBQ and Big Brother

Friday was hot. So hot in fact that neighbour Steve decided to invide all his friends (well, me and John) to a barbecue at his luxury canal side apartment. The three of us scoffed our way through several burgers, sausages and Steve's special potatoes which Steve managed to set fire to but were still delicious.

After our food and a few social glasses of wine, we retired to our own luxury canal side apartment to watch Big Brother 6 and drink more wine. John and Steve were very impressed by Lesley's PVC nurse uniform, but in general the new housemates seem extremely irritating. Personally, I think Maxwell is going to win. You read it here first.

Debbie: The normal one

On Monday I travelled up to Manchester to stay at my mum's house for the night as I had to attend a dull examiner's meeting on Tuesday. Since my brothers have now moved out I stayed in my younger brother John's old room.

Now, I often thought that he was the saner of my two younger brothers - Craig is OK but he supports Man United (we don't like to talk about it...) However, my mind was changed when I found the following in his old bedroom:

My mum tells me that he bought it on Ebay and he has another that he keeps in his car. So it turns out I am the most normal member of my family. How worrying it that?

Happy Birthday Suzanne

Last Saturday was Suzanne's 30th birthday party in Bubbles. It was very well attended and anyone who was anyone was there, including Ajay and Iciar and little Rajiv (he looks almost like a proper grown up now.)

There was beer, a sumptuous buffet feast and much chat. We left at around 11.30 to walk home with Gary and MC. At this point we experienced the biggest downpour in the history of weather and got a little wet.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Where've your trophies gone?

On Saturday, the FA Cup was on TV, with Arsenal and some American owned whinging cry babies taking part. In order to celebrate the fact that there is still some football on the BBC, me John, Ajay and Iciar accepted Tom and Abbi's hospitality (and beer) and watched the match round their house with their over excitable dog.

Following my football team supporting hierarchy (first City, then Rochdale, then whoever United are playing) I had no choice but to support Arsenal. To be honest, the majority of the match was a little boring, but it livened up no end when the penalties started and I am pleased to say the correct team won in the end. Good thing really since if United had won then Malcolm Glazer would have had the FA cup over the Atlantic and sold as an ashtray or something.

Anyway, my favourite part of the afternoon was the bit where Cristiano Ronaldo cried. Its becoming an annual event and it always makes me laugh.

Phoenix and Pete Visit

Last Monday Phoenix and Pete came to visit us for a delightful evening of civilised food, drink and socialising. After some catching up on the gossip, discussing the pros and cons of ipods, and having a major discussion about where to eat, we headed up to the Thai Elephant in Leamington Town and had some delicious, hot and spicy food and Chang beer.

Afterwards we went to Satchwells which was quiet, mainly chav free and having a beer festival and had several more drinks, although everyone was too scared to try the 7.9% beer. Then we moved onto the Avenue where we had pre-nightcap drinks, and then home where we had real nightcaps of vodka, whisky and damson gin.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Saturday with Stefan: Part 2

On Saturday night , smooth neighbour Steve talked me into drinking with him with his line of "If you come out with me tonight I'll let you dye my hair". Hey, it worked, he should try it on other females.

We started off in the Jug at around eight thirty, and by quarter past nine we had managed to drink two bottles of white wine between us and the evening was going downhill quickly. Somehow I was tricked into going to the Well (hypnotism, I think) and on the way there bumped into Suzanne, Tracy and their lady teacher friends heading to the Lounge and had a little chitchat.

The Well was full of the usual people and alcohol, and Steve got annoyed because the woman he was trying to pull preferred me. To be fair, she only gave me a peck on the cheek, but in little Steve's head it was some big snog with tongues and all. To make amends for his disappointment I promised he could film us (not a binding contract) and we had some more drinks. After some further drinks we wandered downstairs and saw someone dressed as a pirate, went upstairs had more drinks and sang 'Buttercup'. After more drinks, Steve said I was a professional neighbour and I saw some interesting graffiti.

There was the standard Well lock in, I generously bought Steve a Vodka Twister that he was very ungrateful for, and we left around 2.30am. I really should really have gone straight to bed, but saw fit to stay up, watch a film about China and blog about ducks.

Saturday with Stefan

I woke up feeling sprightly on Saturday morning (well, afternoon technically) and kindly agreed to drive neighbour Steve to the Ford showroom to look at cars. I gave my advice, Steve abused me, we returned home and then Steve begged me to hang out with him for the rest of the day. Well, John was away and I had nothing better to do, so I agreed.

First stop was the Old Butchers for a Steak Sandwich. Very nice and gave me mucho energy for shopping. We meandered around several shops, including JJB where I saw one of my female students and Steve blushed, before ending up in Boots where Steve declared he wanted to dye his hair. After about seventeen hours of deliberation he settled on Copper Blonde.

We walked back to Canal House and I tried to negotiate some 'Steve Free Time', but he looked at me with puppy eyes said he'd let me dye his hair if I let him spend more time with me. How could I resist? After a failed dying session (in which I was accused of trying to drown him) Steve came round to my luxury apartment, still with blonde hair, to eat pizza and watch Dr Who. Steve was obviously coming down with a cold or hay fever or something while Dr Who was on as he had red eyes and there was a lot of sniffing coming from his direction.

After this we prepared to hit the town and paint it red (or maybe a nice shade of pink), as will be told in future installments.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Happy Friday - curry and much beer

With John off gallivanting in Birmingham for Mike's stag night I had to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find entertainment on Friday night. I looked next door and found Steve wanting to have a Happy Friday and get drunk, so that's what we did.

Firstly, we went to King Baba's, the world's gayest curry house, where Steve got chatted up by three waiters. How I laughed. After that we went to the Jug for one drink and a quick play of the piano (Steve does a good 'Last of the Summer Wine' and I practiced my scales) and then onto the Lounge where we met several of Steve's student friends, including David Kelly and Lovely Helen. As usual, Steve disgraced himself by slapping me around the head in front of civilized people. When will he learn?

The students kept asking why we were referring to David Kelly as Dr David Kelly, and couldn't understand why we were trying to get him to come to the Well by telling him we had seen Weapons of Mass Destruction there. Don't these people watch the news? They were also quite poor excuses for students as they had to leave at 11 to revise for exams on Monday. Monday! After I had stopped laughing at the fact they had to do exams, I told them that in my day we used to go to exams still drunk and revise on the bus. It isn't that far from the truth.

So Steve and I wandered down to the Well and drank some more. By this point I could barely see, but we played European Football Top Trumps on the quiz machine, drank some more, stayed after hours because we told the bouncers we were with Larry (who's Larry?) and drank some more. After that its very, very blurry, and I don't really remember walking home, but at some point I tidied the bedroom and put away the washing. I woke up to find mud all over the bed covers, so I think I went to bed in my shoes. Either that or I was mud wrestling at some point - who knows?


On Thursday I thought it would be a good idea to feed the ducks old bagels. Whilst I was throwing them food, I counted 47 ducks, ducklings and teenage ducks on the canal outside Canal House. This is the most I have ever counted and think it must be a record. I am sure you must share my excitement.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Still blogging

Don't worry, fans of Speaks Only the Truth, I am still blogging, just been a little busy. In the next few days (or maybe 3.30am tomorrow morning, depending on how drunk I get tonight) you can expect exciting and detailed stories about the number of ducks on the canal, American v UK McDonalds, why students have gone gay, and weekends drinking with the neighbour.

Bet you can't wait.